to be filled in later

here's something blunt, i smoke weed. it's not a sometimes thing, i can honestly say i smoke at least five times a week, and usually more. there is no creatively, beautiful way to write that, not for me at least. it's interesting because i don't love it. it doesn't help me find a new perspective, really i just find it fun as a phase. it's nice to sit around and pass a bowl, or a joint, or on a good night, a blunt. good conversation can pop up, and if you have the right music on, it can set the whole scene. in a strange way it also brings people together. if you meet someone new who smokes, then you guys can smoke together. it's an easy way to get together. 'oh, want to come over and smoke?' i can't tell you how many wonderful memories i have that include weed in them, or how many interesting people i've met due to the activity. some of my favorite people in the world are stoners, or active weed smokers, and still i have those who aren't.

somedays i consider myself a stoner, while other days i don't. it depends on my mood, how i feel about weed that day, how confident in myself i am feeling that day. so many contributing factors to whether i even own up to it that day. i don't know what this says about me, and honestly, i don't really care to find out. i'll never be proud, but i'll never be ashamed. the way i really see if is if people honestly feel like judging me due to the fact that i smoke marijuana, then they aren't worth my time. that isn't written in a cruel way, but in an open way. there are many things to be closed off to, but to judge someone due to one thing, is uncalled for. all of my friends who smoke weed will tell you bluntly that they do, and in many ways i admire that about them.

i will tell you something, writing while by yourself and high is an experience. i will never suggest anyone to smoke, nor will i ever make someone feel lame for not trying it. i admire people who have never touched a drug a day in their life just as much as i admire those who will be honest and tell you their experiences.

i'm no one to look up to, but i will be honest.

update: i really do not smoke as much anymore. i realized that it's not for me. i truly have a sober soul and i've decided to embrace that and love that about myself. i will never look down on anyone who smokes, its just not for me personally.